Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Empty Museum

(First draft.)

Ladies and Gentlemen, come one, come all
I've got something here you've just got to see
Gentleman and Ladies, heed my call:
A museum, that is positively Empty.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I said Empty. An Empty Museum.

"Empty?" you say, "What is there to see in an empty museum?"

What indeed, my friends. What indeed. That it is Empty is key--for only something that is Empty has room to hold all of the Nothing that is there.

You heard me correctly, ladies and gentlemen! You'll find Nothing in the Empty Museum! Room after room, there is Nothing to see. Never before have you seen so much nothing in your lives!

We have No paintings, No sculptures, No historical artifacts of any kind--there is simply isn't room for them, with all of the Nothing inside!

"But nothing is...nothing!" you cry, "how can nothing fill a museum?"

You are astute, madame, that "nothing is nothing," as you put it, but tautologies never helped anyone understand anything (much less nothing!). For what Nothing is, is Everything that is not Something, and believe me, ladies and gentlemen, that is QUITE a lot.

"Alright, alright," you say, "you've peaked my interest. What do I have to pay to visit this empty museum?"

Why, it costs you Nothing! After all, it's only fair. However, should you feel so inclined as to Empty your pockets while you're there, Nobody, and I mean Nobody, will stop you.

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